Midshipman Simpson's Snotty Society
(Indiana Chapter)

in conjunction with
Proudly Present...
Take me to Part one
Last updated 19 August 2001

Patronise us, won't you?


HMS Indefatigable's Patron Saint of Vittles
Food is rather important, and I would be willing to take on the duty of making sure the men got it.

Patron Saint of all French Children
Watching over them and insuring that they are protected from ugly, power-hungry frenchmen.
Mlle. Laura, Mlle. Laura's page

Patron Saint of all Aspiring Lieutenants
giving them plenty of quiet time to study for their examination (alright, I slipped up with Horatio, but we all knew he would make it somehow, right?). Erika

Patron Saint of Finch
Tibuald, Lady Viola will be my second in command.

Patron Saint of Lieutenant Chadd
To keep him with a smile on his face in the small but essential role that he plays in Hornblower's life.
Rae, URL

Patron Saint of Seman Bunting
To consol him whenever he loses a shipmate; to make sure his rations are always adequate and that they don't try to slip him the weevily biscuits; to tend to his wounds after he runs the gauntlet; to give him lots of cuddling and TLC, so he won't always be wanting to stow away in jollyboats; and to keep reminding him, gently but firmly, that even though he misses his mommy, it isn't manly to always be such a crybaby.

Patron Saint of Duty, Honor and Gentleman-like Behavior
With this lot, I fancy I shall find my chore a blessedly simple one. I pledge to keep the boys of the Indy ever mindful of duty, honorable in behavior and motive, and charming toward the ladies, should they ever meet some! They are by nature perfection, I swear to help them remain so.

Patron Saint of all Powder Monkeys
the young boys that run gunpowder all over the ship in times of battle and are ususally the first ones splintered to death.


Keeper of Oldroyd's Towel
(for when he gets water chucked over him while he's swabbing the deck and other such stuff)

every ship needs a pressganger, else who will work the ships under Lieutenant Hornblower's watchful eye?

Caretaker of Captain Pellew's Cabin
Keeping it clean and making sure that those pesky worms are out of his biscuits.

Keeper Of Artillery at the Bridge
(because hey if I don't do it, who will? Someone's gotta keep track of that cannon!!!!!)

Caretaker of Midshipman Clayton's Fiddle
keeping it strung and in tune so he can play it at dinner, always.

Acting Lieutenant Archie Kennedy's Riding Instructor
Even though he's on the high seas, when he returns home, riding a horse might come in handy to a son of a Lord.

Possessor of Horatio' s Rum Rations and Heeled Shoes
Making sure our favorite lieutenant can drink like a man and run like a girl whenever occasion dictates.

Caretaker of Horatio Hornblower's Personal Hygiene
Washing and combing his hair, washing and ironing uniforms and civilian clothing, clipping his nails, brushing his teeth--or handing over the toothbrush if he want to do it himself, handing the soap when he's bathing and washing his backů
In case of need I will also be at Lt. Eccleston's disposal.
Ilona, Ioan URL

Keeper of Lord Edrington's Pistol
To make sure the weapon is always cleaned and polished (lots of firm rubbing does the trick), and that it is securely tucked into the bright red sash of his u-nee-form at a jaunty (though somewhat suggestive) slant, in a manner befitting a man of his breeding.

Mender of Midshipman (later Acting Lieutenant) Archie Kennedy's Hammock
for those long, cold nights at sea, keeping it hole-free.

Warmer of Horatio Hornblower's Hammock
on those long cold nights at sea.

Admirer and Keeper (in a golden box sealed with red wax) of Archie's lovely soft Voice and yummy Accent
(Prepared to swoon each time he speaks, and promises to put many .wavs on her page as soon as she has time and figures out how.) Always (day and night) standing by with some hot tea and honey to keep his throat from going scratchy and to make those vowels coming out clear and round.
Darknyss, URL

Keeper of Captain Pellew's Telescope
(to make sure his instrument is in working order so that he can readily focus on anything he damn well pleases!) Sorry about the language -- I'm a sailor.

Personal Comforter of Captain Pellew
It's lonely at the top, but not for long. My duty is to see to ALL the good Captain's needs, emotional and physical. Warm his bunk, sharpen his sword, clean his pistol, bring chicken soup when he's sick, provide a soft shoulder to lean on when the rigors of command are just too, too much for even this most stalwart of Ship's Captains.

Official Restrainer of Rats and Lice Who Carry the Black Death
(so Horatio, Styles, Oldroyd, and the others can return in triumph to the Indy and have Captain Pellew stare at them in awe when they come back)

Archie Kennedy's Personal Sword Fighting Trainer
Willing to lend a hand with wrist-flicking difficulties!

Keeper of Horatio's Footwear
(or lack there of) in general, and shiner of the 'reel-dancing shoes.'
Teka, URL, URL

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